It's never too early...

Ridiculous ideas for Halloween costumes...



Last year I went as Yoda in a business suit. Here are some samples of my business cards:

Linguistic Entrepreneur: "English teach good I do"
Intergalactic Midget
Senior Assistant Manager: Cracker Barrel
Taxidermist: "Stuffing your friends for eons."
Senior Accountant: "For all your accounting needs."
Amway Salesman
Former Jedi Master: "The Force Use Good Once I Did"
DJ Yoda
Muppet
Yoda for Governor: "Vote for Yoda... Or use the Force on your ass I Will"

and many others.


So now comes idea time for this year:

Powder Blue Dracula: which consists of a Dracula costume with a powder blue cape, and powder blue frilly shirt.

Disco Dracula: which also consists of a ruffled, powder blue shirt, but also a blonde afro, medallion necklace, and probably the powder blue cape... preferrably polyester

Bride of Groovenstein: which consits of the Bride of Frankenstein, disco-style. (That would be a costume for females)

Shirtless Patron/Friend: this consists of nothing more than you being yourself, except shirtless.

Broccoli Man: Wear a superhero cape around your neck, letters BM emblazoned on the front, and strap some giant stalks of broccoli on your head. Wear tights if possible.

I will add more as I think of them...

funny started... now funny gone.

Duets heaven

Warning: this is the first of what is sure to become a multi-part entry.

Here is a game created because of my own brand of sarcasm.

A friend was telling me about her new iPod, and I made a joke about her having Perry Como, and duets between Engelbert Humperdinck and Ice Cube. This got me to thinking about what some of the strangest duets in history have been.

Some nominees:

David Bowie and Bing Crosby - Little Drummer Boy
Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow
Aerosmith and Run DMC - at the time this was huge


This then got me to thinking about what some of the greatest duets we would love to see would be, complete with the song they would sing. The original artist has been added in parentheses. Enjoy.


* Marilyn Manson and Amy Grant - Greatest Love of All (Whitney Houston) or Islands in the Stream (Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton)
* Toby Keith and Dixie Chicks - My Way (Frank Sinatra)
* Flava Flav and Tony Bennett (Sinatra was the first choice, but he's dead) - You Light Up My Life (Debby Boone)
* William Shatner and Barry Manilow - Detachable Penis (King Missile) or The Sun is a Mass of Incandescent Gas (They Might Be Giants)
* They Might be Giants and Celine Dion - Little Red Corvette (Prince) or anything by Fugazi
* James Taylor and Ted Nugent - Total Eclipse of the Heart (Bonny Tyler) or Making Love Out of Nothing at All (Air Supply)
* Michael McDonald and KLF - Total Eclipse of the Heart (Bonny Tyler) or Making Love Out of Nothing at All (Air Supply)

Two that I legitimately would love to see:
* Neil Diamond and Sarah McLachlan - God Only Knows (Beach Boys
* Cat Power and Will Oldham - Massachusetts (Bee Gees)

Now back to the original list:
* Jimi Hendrix and Doris Day - Eleanor Rigby (The Beatles)
* Roy Orbison and Andrea Bocelli - Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me (Elton John) : Everyone thought Roy Orbison was blind, and Andrea Bocelli actually is: Tasteless, yes, but they can sing.
* William Shatner and Avril Lavigne - The Time Warp (Rocky Horror Picture Show)
* Biz Markie and Barbara Streisand - I Got You Babe (Sonny & Cher)
* Tori Amos and Michael Bolton - It's a Man's World (James Brown)
* Snoop Dogg and Melissa Etheridge - Open Arms (Journey)
* Ozzy Osbourne and Shania Twain - Reunited (Peaches and Herb)
* Rick Astley and Courtney Love - still undecided, but some choices are La Vie En Rose (Edith Piaf), Glory of Love (Peter Cetera), or Next Time I Fall in Love (Peter Cetera and Amy Grant). But whatever song they sing needs a visual of Rick Astley sitting on Courtney Love's lap with her wearing a black beret. Now ain't that a priceless visual?
* Fred Durst and Alanis Morrisette - Don't Go Breaking My Heart (Elton John and Kiki Dee)
* Leonard Nimoy and Hilary Duff - Almost Paradise (Ann Wilson and Mike Reno)
* Cher and ODB - Endless Love (Diana Ross)
* Jessica Simpson and Tom Waits - 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy) (Simon and Garfunkle)

Feel free to add your own, or vote for your favorite.
The Top Ten List will be released at some later point in Befuddling history, with each person who voted for the top duet receiving an album with a recording of all Top Ten hypothetical duets.

blogging haiku

First post ever. But,
I have to get ready for work.
Now it's done.

More news at eleven.