Thursday, January 1, 2009

Crusader of the Day: Thomas Jones

This may seem like an odd choice, but we here at The Befuddler are not beyond recognizing people when they stand up to bloated, behemoth, fascistic institutions. And, all sports fans out there realize that Brett Favre is such an institution, that he's more than an institution. He's America itself.

"But he's one of the greatest QBs ever!" Yeah, this might be true.
"He single-handedly brought respect back to Green Bay." Green Bay must be a pretty bleak and angry place, then.
"He's just throwing the ball and running around like a kid out there." Exactly. Yes, he is. And how many of you have ever watched kids run around and throw a football? It's like hot potato, or like an ugly stereotype of a keystone cops crime caper. (YAY, alliteration!) The robbers just got caught, and are trying to get rid of the evidence and they just throw it in the air, hoping that somebody else gets it and runs away safely, or in Brett's case, to the endzone.
And if nothing had convinced people of Brett Favre's god syndrome before, I think this past offseason did. And watching him on the sidelines of the last Jets-Miami game of the season, standing alone, petulant, talking to nobody, not making an effort to talk to anybody, he looked like what I have long thought he is: a giant dick.

Jones stated recently what should have been obvious to anyone not even watching sports: that when the Jets started to tank at the end of the season, he should have been benched. The fact that he wasn't benched makes you realize just how much of a Brett-fearing nation football people have become. And it strikes The Befuddler as Too Little Too Late. Why couldn't you have said something then! Much like Robert McNamara in "The Fog of War", or any member of the current administration about the current Iraq War. Why did you have to wait so long before you said something?

Yet Thomas Jones dared to stand up to the Goliath bully known as Favre, to America; he dared to speak against The Favre, to America; and for that Jones gets the first, albeit light-hearted, tribute of the new Befuddler.

One stars and stripes covered middle finger in the air for Thomas Jones.

And one Wayans-shaped cake for Brett Favre.

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